“Hindi sa’kin nangyari, pero ang sakit ah”. The breakup happened to others, not to me. But it hurt quite significantly. I’m not specifically talking about the recent celebrity breakups (I no longer stan any particular couple like I used to), although they made me realize this type of emotional experience that I have gone through several times: secondhand heartbreak, which made me ask myself if it is really worthwhile to root for others’ relationships, or if it just a waste of time and energy.

From the few celebrity couples that I adored before to the couple friends whom I shared my life with while growing up, it felt like I myself experienced those breakups when they called it quits.

Not just once in my life had I scolded myself for probably caring too much–for emotionally investing in the personal life and relationships of people who are not really in my life. It may be so for the love teams I used to stan when I was younger. But for couple friends whom I grew up with, rooting for their happiness so much to the point of sharing their heartbreak was quite inevitable for me.

As much as I dislike feeling the hurt and the pain of other people’s breakups, I could take it as an indication of the fact that I loved–prayed for people other than myself; rooted for someone else’s happiness and not just for my own; dreamed and hoped with them and supported them in ways I can. That is something I don’t really regret.

Going Forward

Whether it be firsthand or secondhand, and whatever the cause may be, allowing oneself to go through the process of accepting and healing is necessary to keep moving forward. Invalidating and belittling the pain from heartbreaks of either our own or of others is not really helpful, and so is wallowing on it too much for too long.

I pray that the hurt will not eventually make me want to be indifferent or be scared to be vulnerable enough to care and to love again.