Since I started residing here in the US, I normally spend my Saturday morning until noontime attending our church choir practice, and then I sing in the 7:30 am mass on Sundays at the Holy Trinity Catholic Church, Los Angeles. And I pretty have my Saturday afternoons and Sundays after 9:00 am pretty much for myself.

And what do I do during my free time? well, unless Mom and I would go to the mall to do a little stroll or would go to the grocery store after church on Sunday mornings, I would just stay home. Doing nothing but watch TV? Nah. Actually, feeling ko nga, hindi ko nasusulit ‘yong binabayad ko monthly sa cable dahil hindi naman ako nagbababad sa TV. Kahit si Mama hindi rin naman masyado. Oh well.

So since I don’t watch TV as much, I read my books which are mostly spiritual and Christian romance novels. I listen to music either on YouTube or on my CD player. (Yes, I still do have a CD player and I still have a few CDs). Or I would spend some time writing on my journals. I would sometimes watch a movie on my laptop. And I would do some other stuff randomly.

And whenever I tell people these things, some of them would just smile and nod. 🙂

I know, I know. The way I tell people my routine makes it look like as though my life seems so boring, and it might be so for others, but I’ve been practicing to not care too much and be bothered by what other people think or say about me and my life. And I don’t wish to change my lifestyle just because people say I’m missing out on so many ‘fun stuff’ in life. If I would do some changes, I want it to be for growth and betterment.

A co-worker teases me a lot about not going out unless I’m with my mom or my choir friends that are actually older than my parents. I know my co-worker doesn’t mean any harm and I don’t take any offense to these remarks, but it makes me think sometimes. Do I really enjoy hanging out with older people? Well, I love spending time with my mom because we only get to see each other for about 3 hours a day (she works night shift, so I leave the house in the morning before she gets home from work, and I go home in the afternoon and she is still asleep and would wake up a couple of hours before I go to bed). But as for my elderly choir mates, well, being around them makes me feel like I’m surrounded and being taken care of by a few set of grandma’s and grandpa’s, something I didn’t get to really experience a lot because I lost most of my grandparents when I was little, one of them I didn’t even get to meet because he passed away several years before I was born, and I only got to enjoy having my maternal grandmother around until I was 15 years old.

I also get a lot of scoldings and advice from other people who think my life is boring. Some people would tell me to go out to nightclubs, have some drinks, dance, and meet boys. Some others would tell me to hang out to a place where I could meet people of my age, that sounds better to me than the first one! I guess I’m being careful as to where I would go and hang out because I know that many people do things I don’t really want to do. I think you’d know what I mean.

But I’ve been planning to find a community where I could establish friendships and have connections. Although at some point, I already did, but I know that I need to go out there–where my soul could flourish more and my light from Jesus could shine brighter for His people.

Well, yes, in the sense that I don’t go flirting with boys, partying and drinking all night long, and I don’t do drugs or even smoking. I don’t necessarily disobey any laws or regulations.

But am I a ‘good girl’ just because I’m obligated to? NO. I can be a ‘bad girl’ and oh, people would loooove to see me be one, but nope. I don’t want to. To be fair, most of the people who tell me to do stuff that I don’t usually do just want me to enjoy life. They think they want me to also share the fun out of the things that they enjoy doing. And I appreciate that.

Being a Christ-follower makes other people think I’m bound by rules and commandments, and therefore I’m guarded and restricted to the highest level, especially that I’m a Catholic. While it may be true that we are guided by commandments and such, God wants us to do His will not out of fear, but out of love. Jesus wants us to obey Him not because we are afraid of punishments or we want to keep a good image for other people to be pleased. He wants us to obey Him because we have faith that He would only want what’s best for us, and ultimately because we love Him.

And because I love Him, one of my ways of loving Him is by not doing the unnecessary, worldly things that bring only temporary fun and satisfaction. I could do those things but I prefer not to, not because I’m forced or heavily guarded, but because those things are not the ones that could give me what my soul is yearning for.