I had a dream where I sinned. It was like I witnessed something that I knew was wrong, and I was just watching but did not say or do anything. When I woke up, as I asked myself if it was just a dream or did it really happen, I instantly felt the guilt. The feeling was awful.

But upon realizing that it was, indeed, just a dream, that what happened in it was beyond my control, I felt relieved. Remembering that it is the day of Jesus’ resurrection today, I know I am forgiven.

Since it is Easter, I won’t let anything or anyone hinder me from rejoicing.

My Hope Is Alive!

Have you ever experienced almost losing hope—bagsak na bagsak na yung self-esteem dahil sa paulit-ulit na pagkatalo; ubos na ubos na yung lakas dahil laging nauuwi sa wala lahat ng efforts; wala ka nang nakikitang solusyon sa problema; you get that ‘downward spiral’ feeling of seemingly endless despair, etc.—and just when you are on your last card, you’re at the end of your rope when everything is at its most painful and most dreadful, a sort of a ‘miracle’ suddenly happens? Naranasan n’yo na ba ‘yon? I hope, yes.

Because that is probably what Jesus’ disciples have experienced when He was heavily beaten and crucified. I can only imagine, just when they thought among themselves, “O, ano na? Pa’no na ngayon?”, Jesus was revealed to have risen! They were shocked, they can’t believe it until they saw Him right before their eyes! And they rejoiced! They have hope again!

That’s how I felt when I won the contest after several defeats; when I was able to finish and was awarded after years of blood, sweat, and tears in studying; when I was hired for a regular, full-time job after being turned down for almost a hundred (if not more than a hundred) applications and several job interviews; when I was finally able to start truly healing after being emotionally and spiritually beaten up for several times. I rejoiced. My hope was revived.

I Choose Joy and Grace

Have you ever been in that situation where you are feeling happy and suddenly you received bad news? Or where you are in the midst of enjoying or celebrating a victory, then something embarrassing or irritating just happened? Or where you are having a good day and suddenly, someone intentionally or unintentionally did or said something that could possibly ruin your day in a snap?

I often find myself in those kinds of situations. They are just too many to mention. I don’t want to bore you with too many details. But what I am beginning to recognize is that, may choice pala ako right after what just happened: Magpapadala ako sa inis at ibubulalas ko ang pagkabadtrip? O hihinga ako nang malalim, pipikit, at pakakalmahin ang sarili?

Hindi madali. Hindi madaling hindi mapikon. It is often a battle within. Parang laging may ‘tug of war’ sa loob. But I thank God that He has been persistently teaching me to choose joy, to receive His grace, and to protect my peace.

CHOOSE TO BE GRATEFUL

And then, I can choose the right words to say and the right thing to do, at the right time and in the right way.

Kahit gaano pala kahirap ang sitwasyon, we can still choose to be thankful, to be gracious. May maipagpapasalamat pa rin. May ikatutuwa pa rin.

Mayro’n naman talaga. Depende lang kung saan at paano tayo titingin.

Thank you, Jesus for Your gift of love, for the unexpected and undeserved blessings, for Your victory, for our hope, for our freedom.

For all the reminders and all the opportunities to learn and grow, Thank You!